never been more reassured.

im going to Burlington!
i love jordan maltais so much! :D
oh he makes me so happy.
i cant wait for our life together!
its going to be great.
just 48 more days!
and he will be back in my arms. :D

DECISIONS

ohhh boy.
my dad wants me out.
my boyfriend wants me to move out with him when he gets outta jail.
its either Mississauga or Burlington.
i like Burlington.
but should i go?
ill be very happy but i fear that it wont last long.
what if my boyfriend does something stupid and gets himself in jail again?
then I'm fucked.
he tells me he is gunna be good when he gets out.
stay off drugs, drink less, stay away from crime.
but once a criminal always a criminal right?
he could do it again.
as much as he doesn't want to.
even i do stupid shit against the law.
but I'm smart about it.
i know my limit.
he doesn't.
plus he wants to beat the shit outta his friend Jared for sleeping with me when i was drunk and vulnerable.
i don't want him too.
he'll go back to jail.
for something sooo stupid.
yeah Jared deserves it, but my boyfriend cant go to jail.
its not worth it.
to lose him again.
for him to lose me, for good.
i cant wait for him again.
its too hard now, and to see him for a bit then have to wait again will kill me inside.
everyone is urging me to press charges.
but i don't want to.
know one understands, i just wanna forget it all.
its hard but i want it to go away.
and its sucks that even a good friend of mine doesn't understand and is accusing me of being a liar, that I'm seeking attention.
i didn't ask for it.
nor did i even tell her, my sister did.
i didn't want many people knowing.
only people i trust.
people like my friend scott.
thanks june for being trustworthy. :)
but the cats already outta the bag.
the whole town knows.
and i got confronted by Jared.
didn't go so well.
i told him to leave me alone and never talk to me again.
luckily he agreed.
new topic.
I'm doing so terrible in school.
I'm probably gunna fail everything this semester, besides history.
how dreadful.
but a lot has been going on, and its tough to think of school as a priority.
i know how important it is, but for now with all this shit, its better to be put aside.
hopefully i can manage something in Burlington.
so i can graduate next year, instead of having to go back again.
ill do like night school.
maybe.
anyways, i gotta decide.
and i need to think long and hard.
cause i tend to make hasty decisions.
peace.