Cold Hard Bitch

im a cold hard bitch.



i am a happy person. i enjoy the company of others. but for some odd reason my mind gets triggered by simple things and can ruin a day or moment. i have bi-polar disorder. i haven't gotten tested but i know its there. i can't help some of the things i say or do. my mind just acts on impulse, like i have very little control. i want everyone around me to be happy but all i do is cause confusion, frustration and conflict. i love my boyfriend andy and he makes me the most happiest girl on the planet but i always fuck shit up. i constantly bring up the past and it upsets both me and him. sometimes when i dont get my way i ignore him or i start giving him the cold shoulder. like a stupid five year old. im trying to stop. its been getting better. i need to stop caring so much for myself. i need to put away what was done and live for the future. i need not to be jelous of ex girlfriends and gorgeous celebraties. cause jelousy is not love. but i know for a fact i am in love. i trust him and he can trust me. he is honest, loyal, loving, caring, and devoted as well am i. hopefully he can look past my stupid bitch dilemas and continue to love me. because when i said "live for the future", i live for our future together.

so im a bitch who tries not to be a bitch. with a awesome boyfriend that does everything he can to make me happy. but he doesn't need to worry im happy. im extremly happy. i just might not show it..