why oh why

i have a new boyfriend.
i really like him but he isn't good for me.
he has a lot of shit to deal with that i don't wanna be apart of.
but for now I'm still with him.
although I'm currently experiencing what i always do.
dreadful misery of my past relationship.
i compare every boy to him and that's why I'm not happy.
he is the only one that made me happy.
he never messed up.
he was perfect.
i thought till we broke up.
i still believe in ways he is.
anyways talking to him now on msn is making me doubtful,
of everything.
i don't know what i want.
that seems to happen every time i talk to him.
cause deep down inside i want him.
forever.
but i cant have him forever so i think of what else i could want.
and i just get more confused and messed up when i speak with him.
i feel he wants me but is stuck in his own relationship.
it hurts.
everyday.
but ill deal.
I'm strong.
at least i think i am...