Beat the insecurities out of me

i broke up with my boyfriend again. were remaining friends this time. which is good, hard... but good.

in the meantime my ex andy m. is telling me he thinks i might be his one love. i find that hard to believe. 9 months of crying cause he said he didnt love me anymore and then he comes back and says im confused with my girlfriend cause i think your my one love. what total bull. i cant believe this. how can he be doing this do me. it really hurts. and he doesnt seem like he has very good intentions if he is telling me all this meanwhile having a girlfriend. anyways i have plans to hang out with him on friday. doubt it will happen cause everytime ive made plans with him there was always an excuse. and i said to him " i hope you dont have an excuse last minute lol" completely kidding and he just starting getting so defensive. and ive noticed since ive been talking to him on facebook. he always says something like i miss lets get together soon, and ill respond with a yeah what do you wanna do? then i hear nothing for a good month then i just say ok fuck it nvm, then he starts rieling me back in with the same stuff everytime. ughhh why do i let myself fall prey for him?

Home life is okay, for the meantime. Sam is cool and such but kindda controling and she doesnt even live here yet. she sometimes tell me to call her daughter sister.... she not my fucking sister. ive known her for less then a month hell no. my ACTUAL sister katie thinks shes up to something. maybe she is idk. i hope not that is. cause i like how my dad hasnt been drinking as much and how meals are cooked and there is structure to the household. but who knows. after times of good, comes times of dread.

On another note,
i know my dream boy. but im not his dream girl. how typical.
and how sad. but one day maybe he'll change his mind. until then im happy just being single and ready to mingle lol.